Monday, January 2, 2012

12 for 2012.

I hate resolutions. They leave me feeling, a) silly that I even thought them up b) like a failure because I usually don't complete many of them. So in 2012 I say, "fuck you, resolutions."

Instead, I've made a list. A smattering of things that I'd like to
complete/do/see/experience in 2012. If they don't all get crossed off the list, well, 2013 is another year with plenty of time to work on last year's unfinished goals.

1. Buy a house. We've been talking about our first home since about year one of dating. It's been a long time coming and I'm so excited to see what the future holds for us, in this regard. We've talked to Lain's dad about wanting to start looking, attending open houses, narrowing down potential areas to look, etc. so it's starting to feel a bit more real. Our own space to live and grow; it'll be a dream come true.

2. Visit NYC again. This dream is already in the works! Booking for late June.

3. Buy a car. Mazda3, perhaps? It's what I'm leaning towards!

4. Get a tattoo. This has been on my list/mind forever. I'm just too scared and can't commit to a design. Sigh!

5. Start a business. This is a BIG one on my/our list, people. I've been daydreaming about working for ourselves, doing something we love, for a long time now. I love crafting so it may be something "small" like an etsy-type shop or something as big as a food truck.

6. Learn to sew. A dream of mine since I was little. I think my first real project will be to make an apron.

6b. Sew a dress. This obviously hinges on whether I complete the goal previous to this. I hope I can - I've always wanted to be able to create clothes, etc.!

7. Go on two trips. NYC is a definite but Lain and I are talking about trip number two, which may be a Caribbean cruise later this month! We'll see if we can make it happen.

8. Meet at least two blog friends. I'd love to meet all of my close bloggy girls but I'd settle for meeting two a year. ;)

9. See a psychologist/counselor. Did this in 2011 and I still need the help in 2012. Now more than ever. I suffer (mostly) silently sometimes and I have to stop being afraid to admit that I have issues. I really struggle with decision-making, goal-planning, communication in relationships and a whole handful of other fun things including insane anxiety and negative self-thoughts. I just can't anymore. Life is too short to hate yourself.

10. Love my body and take care of it. I've never really been one to love my body, or even like it, for that matter. Body issues have always been with me. I need to start appreciating it though, no matter how much I hate my weight, etc. It's the only body I have, it keeps me alive and experiencing and that in itself is amazing and should be appreciated. Lain loves me exactly the way I am and tells me multiple times, daily. I need to find the same love for my body, as he does.

11. Appreciate Lain. I'm great at saying nice things about my handsome man, but I'm not always so good at showing him how much I love him. He does so much for me and for us and I can take it for granted sometimes. I never want to do that anymore. He means the world to me and I want to show him. He loves spending quality time together - planning meals, cooking, working on projects, talking about house stuff - so all of that, we will do. He gets excited when I want to cook a meal myself and create something yummy. So that, I will do. He loves when we spend time snuggling in bed together (aww), so that, we will do. More living, communicating, experiencing, laughter, understanding, compassion, respect, and love. I want it all for us.

12. Be creative. This doesn't just mean one area of creativity; I want to be more creative in many areas. My creative goals are: Cook two meals per month; Take at least ten photos per month; Complete one craft project per month; Take dance/fitness class(es) sometime during 2012.

I might add to my list throughout the year but I think this will do for now. I always say I want change but I have a hard time actually doing anything different. 2012 is going to be different, I promise.

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